Delusion

shadow eyes, black child

a gift of visions and deceptions

come through the gate of ivory horns

this daylight joy is banned


giving the gift, these are not stolen

these gates could not provide

bring forth the unscathed organ

in meaningful reward


the sleeper is not troubled

happily misled

accept the beauty withered

cast off the sunlight reign

Other people's words

 I found this and decided that I wanted to share it. It's a beautiful piece that sums up so many things.

 Saddest Poem by Pablo Neruda

I can write the saddest poem of all tonight.

Write, for instance: "The night is full of stars,
and the stars, blue, shiver in the distance."

The night wind whirls in the sky and sings.

I can write the saddest poem of all tonight.
I loved her, and sometimes she loved me too.

On nights like this, I held her in my arms.
I kissed her so many times under the infinite sky.

She loved me, sometimes I loved her.
How could I not have loved her large, still eyes?

I can write the saddest poem of all tonight.
To think I don't have her. To feel that I've lost her.

To hear the immense night, more immense without her.
And the poem falls to the soul as dew to grass.

What does it matter that my love couldn't keep her.
The night is full of stars and she is not with me.

That's all. Far away, someone sings. Far away.
My soul is lost without her.

As if to bring her near, my eyes search for her.
My heart searches for her and she is not with me.

The same night that whitens the same trees.
We, we who were, we are the same no longer.

I no longer love her, true, but how much I loved her.
My voice searched the wind to touch her ear.

Someone else's. She will be someone else's. As she once
belonged to my kisses.
Her voice, her light body. Her infinite eyes.

I no longer love her, true, but perhaps I love her.
Love is so short and oblivion so long.

Because on nights like this I held her in my arms,
my soul is lost without her.

Although this may be the last pain she causes me,
and this may be the last poem I write for her.

Poetics

It's time for me to get back into writing again. Specifically, I need to get back in the habit of writing more poetry.
My plan to do this is to begin by reading more. First of all, I'm going to have a read through the wonderful collection of poetry that I got for Christmas. It's a boxed set with Christina Rossetti, Oscar Wilde, Yeats, Burns, Poe, Shakespeare, Tennyson, Emily Dickinson, John Donne and William Blake. I am a bit of a traditionalist with poetry so I'm thrilled to have so many great writers at my fingertips!

Secondly, I'm going to go back to The Ode Less Travelled by Stephen Fry. It's an excellant book and one that I have left neglected for far too long. It's wonderful because it explains the mechanics of poetry in a very accessable way whilst encouraging you to practice. Last time I started reading it, it really helped to get me into a useful mindset. That's something I really need right now!

Getting caught in the web

I've actually had the opportunity to have some free time recently. I love time off but the problem is that I don't have the self-control to utilize it. One of the biggest things in my way is the internet. The irony of me writing this in a blog is not lost on me, yet I do wonder sometimes, how much more could I have done by now if I didn't have that distraction?

The web is a wondrous thing, not to mention a source of information, a means of communication and full of fun things to do. The problem is that it can suck you in. I spend much too much of my life staring at this screen. It cannot be healthy for my eyes or my body in general and I'm sure a quick perusal of the internet would find me several studies to confirm this.

I'm not citing the internet as the cause of all our problems though. The problem is that the the web has too much to offer. It's such a huge overwhelming leviathan that encompasses great swathes of culture (both high and low if such a definition is relevant) and offers all this at the tips of our fingers. We are small children and the class is being run by the supply teacher. We can learn but Facebook is so much more tempting.

Only Resolutions

So now I have made it into 2011. Hurray! Champagne and debauchery for everyone. It's a bit late for New Year's resolutions now we're in February but here they are:

The first is renewal of my resolution for 2009 - to keep a book diary. I've left it abandoned for far too long. So I'm going to keep it up to date and fill in all the missed time.

The second is to work harder. Well maybe not harder but definitely more effectively. If I spread my work load more evenly, I'm going to be a lot less stressed out. It should also mean being able to hand in better work that hasn't been rushed at the last minute.

So there we go. These are my aims for 2011. Wish me luck!